Tag: teachers

The end of an era, a bit of acceptance, and a new beginning.

March 23, 2023

This past weekend I finally removed the remnant pieces of my once-amazing classroom. Covid-19 forced the teachers to remove all non-standard seating in our high school and go back to boring, impersonal, 100-year-old rows of desks. I kept the items of comfortable seating in a room close to mine that was once a place where teachers could eat lunch together. I had no other choice at the time. But, I held on to it all until now just hoping to make it back there one day. Sadly, the pieces have scattered and broken down in storage and I just don’t have it in me to go backward.

So, I finally got the gumption to commit to this idea of moving forward and removing all the old wooden pieces that we made together. I pulled up in a pickup on Sunday and loaded it all up.

It has been a difficult transition since the end of 2019 and the start of 2020 for me; the death of my father, an empty nest, 3 graduations, a new son-in-law, 2 new grandchildren, a devastating divorce, the loss of my home, 3 moves, 4 surgeries, a new house, oh yea – and COVID. (Not a comprehensive list, but rather rock solid overwhelming I would say.) Ridding my space of these old artifacts seemed like somewhat of a cleansing of all of that baggage, even if I do miss the old classroom.

Funny, I got through those years with a phrase from my mother’s dear friend, “just move forward with purpose. That’s all you can do.” And I did. And I do, now.

So, I come back to my classroom, day after day, and I still have so much that makes my room special to me – that makes it comfortable and inviting for my students; a place where they want to be. And today, as cheesy as it is, I still smiled at the boy who told me that I am what makes my classroom special. He’s right. I am. (Thank you for that, young man.)

Healing is hard work: surviving, recovering; letting go of dreams, ideals, and of actual things. Hard, hard work. It’s purposeful and mindful. It is hard, but it is good. I, am good.

I am grateful that my students remind me every day of my purpose, my value, and my direction. And I am mindful of that gratitude I carry in my heart, always.

In closing, my 3thing are: I am grateful for the end of an era; a bit of acceptance; and a new beginning. Thanks for reading.

I did not start this post thinking about it this way, but now that I am done I thought I would share with you the shirt that I created and sell on my new Etsy t-shirt shop, Char’s Heart. It’s part of that new beginning of which I spoke.

This is one of the shirts I made inspired by my experiences. Browse my shop. Every shirt has a story, however brief they may be. Thank you, again, for reading.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/charsheart

www.fieldsofpoppies.org

3 things – simple

August 8, 2022

I am grateful for late night, left over pizza and garlic butter;

Yummy

I am very grateful for this streaming ice machine thingy that goes through my current brace- it is very soothing (as is the pizza, if I’m being honest);

I am grateful for my amazing friend and her timely, post-it note worthy words “we can hold space for many feelings at once”.

Hoping I have all that I need to fill the cups of those who cross my path during this school year.

#choosejoy #gratitude #3things

Summer 2022 is almost gone but my to do list isn’t finished.

August 7, 2022

I am grateful that when I tore my ACL abroad that I did not break anything else the multiple times I fell as I continued to walk 5-7 miles a day. I tore it on the plane ride over, but when school starts it will be because… I tore my ACL in the Alps. Seriously – sidestepping my way to the window seat is just too… sad.

I am grateful for the support I had during that trip and here at home during surgery and this past week of recovery. A positive environment helps the healing and so far my healing has been awesome. Thank you.

I am grateful for grace and forgiveness. I will be even more grateful when I learn to give both to myself consistently, but I’m afraid I am still a work in progress in this area. So wonderful that others have mastered it and can teach me. I practice, but it’s very hard. It’s so easy to give to others but not to myself. I know I am not alone in this particular battle and struggle for growth as so many of us are so hard on ourselves. Still, I go to bed tonight with a grateful heart knowing that today I tried to be the best person I know how to be, that God loves me, and that my light still shines bright.

So, my to do list for summer 2022 remains with many items yet to be done. I shall use this as a challenge to myself to try to maintain some balance in my life as a teacher. You see my to do list was not filled with chores, but with adventures and new things to try. I don’t have to wait until summer 2023 – and for that I am grateful.

#choosejoy #3things #gratitude #aclsurgery #grace #forgiveness #travel

3 thing April 12 – 2nd day of spring break – I’d rather be at the beach!!

I was a wreck – so nervous.

So, day 1 I got sinus surgery and it’s a 3-5 day recovery with 2 weeks of no strenuous activity. I did this over spring break so as not to miss more time in my classroom since the repeated sinus infections that knocked me out so bad doc gave me a Covid test every time, kept me from my job on multiple occasions. Then I got Covid!!! So it’s been a very rough school year.

So here is my list of gratitude I am grateful for the surgeon and health care professionals that did an amazing job of calming my nerves, healing my pain, and giving me tender and full attention. Special shout-out to Chris, the recovery nurse that was generous with the pain meds but more importantly, started singing I am woman…how did she know?

I am grateful to have people to surround me with their love and care as I recover at home.

I am grateful that I call tell the pressure behind my eyes – the one that made them feel like they would just explode out of my face – well, it’s gone. Praise God.

On another note…

I was called selfish and a bad teacher this week by another teacher. I was told I lacked commitment to my students and criticized how much school I had missed, my lessons and instruction. Although she has never been in my room. Nonetheless, it really hurt my feelings. She is a friend. No conversation, no asking me if I’m ok or why my absences have been so many. (See sinus story above).

Hmmmm chronic illness… Choosing to take care of my physical, or mental health for that matter, is not selfish. It’s called self-care.

I have accepted that she was having a bad day, is overwhelmed by her job, and chose to lash out at me. Perhaps even something personal going on as well. Teaching is hard and very demanding and we tend to ignore our own needs ALL THE TIME. So I repeat, self care is not selfish.

Basically? We had a misscommunication as I failed to receive information about a student. That prompted the unprofessional email. Anyway – I’m disappointed she was not made to apologize or did not do it on her own accord – as she also sent this to 2 administrators. I was told it was handled and now it’s a personnel issue and they can’t tell me anything. They printed my email of concern and put it in the file of this incident Total cop out.

I don’t want to reply to her attack in kind. I thought about bringing her flowers and just saying – something is clearly upsetting your life and I hope whatever it is gets better for you .. and give her the flowers. Be the bigger person and give her. Chance to apologize. She’s a teacher – she’s under too much stress – she snapped and had a target that morning and unfortunately it was me. I can empathize. But I can’t accept the personal attack. Standing up for yourself is a part of self care. I cannot let it go unnoticed. She is my friend. This could be just what SHE needs.

I am grateful that I have grown is gratitude, grace, and peace and I hope to continue to help others grow as well. You are never alone. Ask for help. Reach out – someone will reach back.

Have a great day everyone. And be kind to one another. You never know what their struggles are.

#gratitude #3things #choosejoy #selfcare #bekind

April 6, 2022 Gratitude should be spoken.

Today. Hmmmm – today the Lord gave me breath and pushed me out of my bed. I am grateful. Today I had food to eat for breakfast and a car to drive to a job (after a hot shower and fresh clean clothes attained) I am grateful. Today my feelings were hurt. It’s was shocking and made me hide in the corner so as not to show my tears. I am grateful for the friend that stood and listened and the other friend who offered a hug – not because she heard us talking but because she could tell I was upset and she cares about me. I am grateful. I listened to a play with students who don’t like to read aloud. I am grateful for the actors who recorded the words. I went to my second job after a faculty meeting and I was grateful to have a colleague inquire as to my health and day, rather than just walk by saying nothing. I am grateful. I did my job and was told thank you for being here and I heard the genuine gratitude in her voice. I am grateful. I got to enjoy a lovely dinner out with a lovely friend who shares many experiences with me. I am grateful God allowed us to find one another in all this chaos. My son called me. I am grateful. My daughter called me. I am grateful. I worry about the person who hurt my feelings today, who lashed out irrationally and unprovoked. I will pray for her tonight and I am grateful that it is my choice to decide how this will affect me. Don’t get me wrong, it hurts and it ruined my day because until now I thought this person was my friend. I believe she still is but perhaps needs some grace and prayer. I am grateful that I have the power and strength to give her mine, my grace and prayer. I’m in my bed now. I’m grateful for the comfort of my pillow for it has been a difficult and long day. I am grateful for my life. For my mistakes. For my loves. For my losses. For my wins – I am grateful for me. Finally, I am grateful for the medicine I take at night that keeps me healthy. This world is so crazy – speak your gratitude.

3 things: forgiveness; grace; prayer #choosejoy #gratitude #3things

Monday, Monday 3 things

February 28, 2022 – I am grateful that today I felt energized after work for, probably, the first time in 2022. I have been sick or just run down all of 2022 so far. So, today was a good day – serene – and the weather was nice enough, too for a long silent walk. Ahhhh; I am grateful today for God knowing who to put in my path and exactly when to do it. Blessed are the angels; I am grateful for the excitement on the faces of former students when they see me unexpectedly out in the world. It’s fun. Thank you for this day.

#choosejoy #3things #gratitude

NOT SO Daily 3 things

The struggle is real, folks.

So, I have clearly struggled these past few days getting my daily gratitude out. I have thought about many things to write and about many things I am grateful for. However, my current mental state and life events have left me with back-handed, snarky gratitude that I did not think was healthy to put out into the universe….until now. Lol. tongue in cheek – I am grateful that I had the fortitude not to punch that flying monkey of a divorce attorney in the neck when she continued to suggest that I had 3 months in the summer in which I could work 40 hours a week and make a big impact on my salary. The nerve; I am grateful that I am strong, intelligent, and well spoken, particularly when others are condescending, dismissive, and manipulative. It’s how I survived the last 25 years; I am so terribly grateful that I do not have to go to bed tonight with a stoned drunkard passed out next to me, only after telling me I’m dead weight and worthless. #Iamenough. #covertnarcissistshidewell #choosejoy #gratitude #3things

I will do my best to reframe for a brighter post tomorrow and I am grateful to know that the power is within me to do so!

February 15, 2022

Friday Snow Day – Daily 3 things of gratitude

January 21, 2022 – Brrr it’s cold out there! In South Carolina we don’t often get that biting cold wind that takes your breath away when you step outside. I felt it today, boy. Brrrrrr. The moment I felt it was immediately grateful for the warm home I had just stepped out of and the warm car I immediately climbed into. My heart aches for the homeless or for those who cannot afford to properly heat their homes. I will say extra prayers for them tonight; I am grateful for the technology that allows us to have eLearning days with out students; I am grateful for the clear chest x-ray today – so grateful for good health (even when I don’t feel great). Find the joy around you every day…#gratitude #3things #choosejoy

December 1, 2021 – Today’s 3 things of Gratitude

I am grateful for the annual leave days that I am able to use however I see fit. I saw fit today; I am grateful for the love and compassion of those who I now surround myself with – I encourage you all to eliminate toxic people from your lives. Time is too precious; I am grateful for teachers of all kinds who have helped me on my journey through life. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude