December 28, 2021 3 things

My prayer for all “my you never be judged by your accomplishments or income, but by the kindness in your heart.” Today is the only December 28, 2021 you will ever get – how did it go? Did you find a moment of joy? What if you looked again? Tried again to see it? Today I am grateful for the joy I found at the end of a very long, difficult meeting. I made it through; today I am grateful for the wisdom, faith, and hope of those who came before me and their willingness to share their experience with me. I am stronger; today I am grateful for the clarity that is provided by the universe if you only learn how to listen and trust. I am learning. #38moredays #choosejoy #3things #gratitude

Tonight’s 3 things, Dec 17 2021…it’s almost over

I try to find joy. I really work hard at it some days – and some days it just comes. Some days I have really search and work to reframe – some days it smacks me in the face. And the really fun days are when it does both – moment to moment. Today I am grateful for every moment. I’m learning in each one and that’s what I truly strive for; I am grateful for time to myself to reflect and appreciate every moment; I am grateful for the support of my tribe…it’s a loving, validating, accepting tribe. #3things #gratitude #choosejoy

3 things on this 16th day of December 2021

Today I am grateful for time to myself for some self care and look forward to my massage tomorrow; I am grateful for my journey but I am ready for a new path…and as I tire I appreciate the rest; I am grateful for Charlotte and her mama to be healthy safe at home. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude

December 13, 2021 Daily Gratitude

Today’s 3 things; I am grateful for the early Christmas gifts I got from my colleagues today – a nice surprise; I am grateful that the kids are home from school; I heard a great analogy from my God Mother yesterday…she said ICU only lets healthy people in the room. She was referring to my life and my desire to help someone when it’s not a healthy choice or my responsibility to do so. I am healing and need to take care of of myself first. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude #hardchoices

December 6, 2021 – my daily gratitude list of 3 things

Monday – I am grateful for new beginnings; I am grateful for my capacity to love and forgive others; I am glad to be learning that if you don’t like me that’s not really my problem..I will no longer make myself small or dim my light. Although I still have to remind myself of this regularly I am oh so grateful that it is a part of my inner dialogue now. #choosejoy #gratitude #3things #killthemwithkindness

December 2, 2021 – 3 things of daily gratitude

I am grateful for the success I have had so far in my publishing venture – still so much to learn; I am grateful for the yummy bbq I had for dinner tonight but especially grateful for my company; I am grateful for the countdown app on my phone – very grateful – 63 more days. #choosejoy #gratitude #3things

December 1, 2021 – Today’s 3 things of Gratitude

I am grateful for the annual leave days that I am able to use however I see fit. I saw fit today; I am grateful for the love and compassion of those who I now surround myself with – I encourage you all to eliminate toxic people from your lives. Time is too precious; I am grateful for teachers of all kinds who have helped me on my journey through life. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude

November 26 2021 – 3 things

Today I took a 3 hour nap and I am grateful for the rest and peace afterwards, as no one judged me or ridiculed me for not being productive; Today I played with my grand daughter and I was grateful for all of the giggles, hugs, and gentle sweetness; today I went for a kind walk with my oldest daughter and was grateful to have her all to myself. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude

Getting back in the game.

So, after a lifetime of an on again, off again relationship with running – I finally ran my first marathon 2 months ago at 46.  It was my third attempt at training and my first time at the starting line.  Read about it here.

I did all the research about recovery – what I should eat, what kind of time to take off.  The moment I crossed the finish line I knew I wanted to run another.  Fast forward 2 months – I have really struggled with getting back out there.  I knew this was possible.  It, too, was in the research.  I mean, I have been running, but not with the passion and fervor that kept me training through the cold and rain.  And the 3 miles feel like 10.   Also, I hurt my whole right leg – bruised every part of my knee-joint and connective tissue when I landed hard, sadly, from a marine corps obstacle course rope swing (whew – that was a mouthful).  This does not help the motivation to run.

Honestly, my schedule during track season makes it very difficult to run.  Our meets keep me out until 10 or 10:30 pm.  On nights that we do not have meets I get home around 5:30 – generally physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted.  The other night, after a track meet, I crawled into bed around 11:30 and I hurt more from toe to hip than I ever did before, during, or after my marathon training.  I had a restless night and awoke feeling the same way – simply aching.  Standing at the finish line for 5 and a half hours on that track – after a day of standing on concrete floors – I guess is just too much for this 46-year-old lady.

Friday morning I emailed the male track coach who has great experience that I like to tap into now and again.  I asked him “what am I doing wrong to feel so awful?”  He suggested that I still needed to recover from my marathon.  Say what?  I struggled with this idea. Big time.

So, I jogged a few laps on Friday before the kids all hit the track. Then, I stretched well and promptly walked over to the trainer to get that knee iced down.  The knee has been feeling better – and I have been under her care since the injury.  Her suggestion has been to use it – keep running and keep checking in with her.  No problem.

 

I ran a 5k with some friends on Saturday – I felt pretty strong, surprisingly.  This morning, Sunday, I also ran with some confidence.  I ran and easy, easy 4.5 and stretched and iced everything.  I have been also been drinking a lot of water this weekend.  I think I am going with that I was severely dehydrated on Thursday.

I need to get a race on the board.  A half, I think.  And a few 5ks through the spring.

What’s the point of this post?  I am running – and I am not going to let my busy schedule, painful  15 hour days, or anything else keep me from running.  Now if I can just believe that because, evidently, getting back in the game is hard after a marathon.

Thanks for reading my post!  Read more at Fields of Poppies.

“The Heart of the Matter”

Released in 1989 – I was in my early 20’s when I first really heard this song in small bar in Miamisburg, Ohio.  Sitting with friends, drinking, I found myself lost in the lyrics.

What the song is about: The lyrics of Don Henley’s song reflect on a lost lover that has moved on and one man’s attempt to move past the pain caused then and now.  It’s about forgiveness and learning how to move on beyond the pain, not just from a lost love – but from pain in the world.

My favorite lines:

“There are people in your life who’ve come and gone
They let you down; you know they hurt your pride
You got to put it all behind you ’cause life goes on
You keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside”

What the words mean to me: The heart of the matter – the bare, base meaning of it all – is forgiveness.  Forgive to have a peaceful heart.  Forgive so that you can live.  You are more than your anger. This song just pounds forgiveness into my head and helps to remind me that I have to let go of the angst in my heart.  None of the people I thought of that night were ex-boyfriends.  My issues were much larger than that. People suck – get over it and move on. Do not give them the power to change you – Just love them more.

“What are all these voices outside love’s open door
Make us throw off our contentment and beg for something more?”

What the words mean to me: These 2 lines stand out more now that I am 46 – and not 20.  Love can make us happy and content…yet sometimes something on the other side calls to us.  Other side of what?  you may ask.  Other side of anything, really.  The other side of our contentment – just other – not this, but that.  We struggle as we age, wondering is this it?  Sometimese we have longings that we can not understand.  Some find the answers in faith, some find the answers in family or work, and some never find them.

“The more I know, the less I understand”

What the words mean to me:  These lines need no explanation beyond ignorance is bliss.

Heart of the Matter – full lyrics

By Don Henley

I got the call today I didn’t wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin’ on the phone
She said you’d found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck and all the struggles we went through
How I lost me, and you lost you
What are all these voices outside love’s open door
Make us throw off our contentment and beg for something more?

I’ve been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again
I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There’s a yearning undefined and people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
Are the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the world they put between us – you know it doesn’t keep us warm

I’m learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I’d figured out, I have to learn again
I been tryin’ to get down to the heart of the matter
But everything changes and my friends seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore

Oh, there are people in your life who’ve come and gone
They let you down; you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you, baby,  ’cause life goes on
You keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside, baby

I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if you don’t love me

Songwriters: MIKE CAMPBELL, DONALD HUGH HENLEY, JOHN SOUTHER, JOHN DAVID SOUTHER

© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group

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