This weekend I watched my friend of 23 years say goodby to her husband within 10 days of a cancer diagnosis. Total shock.
Experience, strength, and hope – these are the 3 things I am grateful for tonight as I put my head on my pillow, because they are what my friends, what my people, offer me to hold me up. And it’s usually provided with a bucket of faith. I am grateful for my health and my healing so that I can, in turn, hold up others.
So, day 1 I got sinus surgery and it’s a 3-5 day recovery with 2 weeks of no strenuous activity. I did this over spring break so as not to miss more time in my classroom since the repeated sinus infections that knocked me out so bad doc gave me a Covid test every time, kept me from my job on multiple occasions. Then I got Covid!!! So it’s been a very rough school year.
So here is my list of gratitude I am grateful for the surgeon and health care professionals that did an amazing job of calming my nerves, healing my pain, and giving me tender and full attention. Special shout-out to Chris, the recovery nurse that was generous with the pain meds but more importantly, started singing I am woman…how did she know?
I am grateful to have people to surround me with their love and care as I recover at home.
I am grateful that I call tell the pressure behind my eyes – the one that made them feel like they would just explode out of my face – well, it’s gone. Praise God.
On another note…
I was called selfish and a bad teacher this week by another teacher. I was told I lacked commitment to my students and criticized how much school I had missed, my lessons and instruction. Although she has never been in my room. Nonetheless, it really hurt my feelings. She is a friend. No conversation, no asking me if I’m ok or why my absences have been so many. (See sinus story above).
Hmmmm chronic illness… Choosing to take care of my physical, or mental health for that matter, is not selfish. It’s called self-care.
I have accepted that she was having a bad day, is overwhelmed by her job, and chose to lash out at me. Perhaps even something personal going on as well. Teaching is hard and very demanding and we tend to ignore our own needs ALL THE TIME. So I repeat, self care is not selfish.
Basically? We had a misscommunication as I failed to receive information about a student. That prompted the unprofessional email. Anyway – I’m disappointed she was not made to apologize or did not do it on her own accord – as she also sent this to 2 administrators. I was told it was handled and now it’s a personnel issue and they can’t tell me anything. They printed my email of concern and put it in the file of this incident Total cop out.
I don’t want to reply to her attack in kind. I thought about bringing her flowers and just saying – something is clearly upsetting your life and I hope whatever it is gets better for you .. and give her the flowers. Be the bigger person and give her. Chance to apologize. She’s a teacher – she’s under too much stress – she snapped and had a target that morning and unfortunately it was me. I can empathize. But I can’t accept the personal attack. Standing up for yourself is a part of self care. I cannot let it go unnoticed. She is my friend. This could be just what SHE needs.
I am grateful that I have grown is gratitude, grace, and peace and I hope to continue to help others grow as well. You are never alone. Ask for help. Reach out – someone will reach back.
Have a great day everyone. And be kind to one another. You never know what their struggles are.
Today. Hmmmm – today the Lord gave me breath and pushed me out of my bed. I am grateful. Today I had food to eat for breakfast and a car to drive to a job (after a hot shower and fresh clean clothes attained) I am grateful. Today my feelings were hurt. It’s was shocking and made me hide in the corner so as not to show my tears. I am grateful for the friend that stood and listened and the other friend who offered a hug – not because she heard us talking but because she could tell I was upset and she cares about me. I am grateful. I listened to a play with students who don’t like to read aloud. I am grateful for the actors who recorded the words. I went to my second job after a faculty meeting and I was grateful to have a colleague inquire as to my health and day, rather than just walk by saying nothing. I am grateful. I did my job and was told thank you for being here and I heard the genuine gratitude in her voice. I am grateful. I got to enjoy a lovely dinner out with a lovely friend who shares many experiences with me. I am grateful God allowed us to find one another in all this chaos. My son called me. I am grateful. My daughter called me. I am grateful. I worry about the person who hurt my feelings today, who lashed out irrationally and unprovoked. I will pray for her tonight and I am grateful that it is my choice to decide how this will affect me. Don’t get me wrong, it hurts and it ruined my day because until now I thought this person was my friend. I believe she still is but perhaps needs some grace and prayer. I am grateful that I have the power and strength to give her mine, my grace and prayer. I’m in my bed now. I’m grateful for the comfort of my pillow for it has been a difficult and long day. I am grateful for my life. For my mistakes. For my loves. For my losses. For my wins – I am grateful for me. Finally, I am grateful for the medicine I take at night that keeps me healthy. This world is so crazy – speak your gratitude.
February 28, 2022 – I am grateful that today I felt energized after work for, probably, the first time in 2022. I have been sick or just run down all of 2022 so far. So, today was a good day – serene – and the weather was nice enough, too for a long silent walk. Ahhhh; I am grateful today for God knowing who to put in my path and exactly when to do it. Blessed are the angels; I am grateful for the excitement on the faces of former students when they see me unexpectedly out in the world. It’s fun. Thank you for this day.
Cool date. Today I am grateful for the body’s power to heal – praying for the heart and soul to follow; I am grateful for frozen meals that allow me to rest; I am grateful for phone calls from my kids and pics of the grands – both fill my heart with joy. #gratitude #choosejoy #3things
The day before it all goes down. The next 2 days I will be in a court room with my husband to cut the final threads of a 30 year trauma bond. It’s been almost a 2.5 year brutal journey. Tonight I am grateful that I spent the last 3 years learning how to turn my will over to my higher power because I truly am powerless over an alcoholic/addict. I thought I had learned that a long time ago, but I guess I forgot. Tonight I will rest well; I am grateful for the amazing people who surround me as I continue recovering from emotional and mental abuse. Tonight I will sleep well; but I am most grateful today that by dear friend, Bon Bon, did not suffer terribly through her recent bone biopsy. Tonight I will sleep well. Please pray for full remission for my dear friend. #choosejoy #gratitude #3things #moveforwardwithpurpose #justbringthetruth #iamenough
Today’s 3 things: I am grateful for the people in my life who remind me of my value and my strength when I forget; I am grateful that I am learning how to let go of things I cannot control; I am grateful to be so lucky to have two darling little angels that call me Mammaw. I spent the weekend with them and they definitely filled my love bucket. The giggles- oh the giggles. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude
January 26, 2022 what a day, what a day… Today I am grateful forcomedy specials on Netflix because I love to laugh; I am grateful for the sense of accomplishment I feel when my grades are caught up, even if it’s only for one day; I am grateful for my precious granddaughters. #choosejoy #grateful #3things
Today I am grateful for my mother – she loved like no other. Oh how I wish she could have met my children and now, my grandchildren; I am grateful for comedians. I love to laugh and they can always make me feel better; I am grateful for this break we have had and I’m ready for tomorrow. #3things #choosejoy #gratitude
My prayer for all “my you never be judged by your accomplishments or income, but by the kindness in your heart.” Today is the only December 28, 2021 you will ever get – how did it go? Did you find a moment of joy? What if you looked again? Tried again to see it? Today I am grateful for the joy I found at the end of a very long, difficult meeting. I made it through; today I am grateful for the wisdom, faith, and hope of those who came before me and their willingness to share their experience with me. I am stronger; today I am grateful for the clarity that is provided by the universe if you only learn how to listen and trust. I am learning. #38moredays #choosejoy #3things #gratitude