I’m not going to be a total Debbie Downer, but I can’t let this day go by and not acknowledge that it is the day I convinced my mother to go into the hospital after a fall down the stairs. She had been in bed for the week with “the flu” but we were afraid she had had a stroke. Well – she never came home. Sadly, she died 10 weeks later. 10 weeks of agony with no diagnosis and incompetent medical care. The doctors asked for an autopsy bc they had no idea what killed her. Turns out God just didn’t want them to find the cancer that invaded every organ and every gland…her brain… her spinal cord. Her soul.
I was 22 and a single parent. She was 49 and my whole life. Just gone.
I’m now 53. 3 kids, 2 grandkids, and a full life. She gave me so much. I miss her all the time and wish she could see my kids – my angels. I know most people feel this way about their lost parents. I’m not unique.
So, on to the good stuff. I am grateful that I had 22 years with a woman who taught me acceptance, passion, integrity, unconditional love, authenticity, and persistence…ok stubbornness; I am grateful to have had a wonderful model to show me how to be the mother I wanted to be; I am grateful for the perfectly imperfect world in which I live and learn grace daily. #gratitude #3things #choosejoy #restinpeacebigA
“February has an r after the b!?” Man I love teaching Juniors. They never cease to amaze me. For this I am grateful; I had a meeting of the minds tonight with some amazing folks – so grateful for the experience, strength, and hope of others; I am eternally grateful that my mother taught me that no matter how terrible another human being may seem to be to just kill’em with kindness. I remembered this today. And I did just that – a great big smile, and a great big wave out the open car window. I mean it was a beautiful day. The whole thing was quite perfect, almost like a movie. He waved back and then realized it was me…then pretended he wasn’t waving but fixing his visor. Oh the drama.
It really made me happy, made me feel strong and healthy and good. Thanks Big A.
Today I am grateful for my mother – she loved like no other. Oh how I wish she could have met my children and now, my grandchildren; I am grateful for comedians. I love to laugh and they can always make me feel better; I am grateful for this break we have had and I’m ready for tomorrow. #3things #choosejoy #gratitude
Wow – What. A. Day. I can say I felt the spectrum of all of the feels today. From the early morning email informing me of the tragic loss of another student, a senior – to the rage filled trauma trigger…I am at peace only when I focus on the joy of the day. And oh what joy. 1) today I met Charlotte. She is 5 days old and my 2nd granddaughter. It’s just magical – life is such a mystery. 2) I crawled around on the floor with grand number 1 and we giggled until we were both absolutely exhausted. 3) I shared meaningful conversation and a good laugh with all 3 of my grown children today and they are in 3 different cities at the moment, so that’s quite a win. 4) yea – 4) I went to dinner with my daughter and granddaughters. Not only was it yummy, but relaxing and giggly, too. 5) what? Stop the insanity, yes, I said 5) I am grateful that I arrived safely to my holiday destination and look forward to my flock coming together for Christmas. So, the loss, the anger, the hurt, the frustration, the crowds, the traffic, the cold rain…just, no. Focus on the good stuff. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude #grannyB
My 2nd granddaughter has arrived! She is just as magnificent as the first, of course. I am so grateful for her safe and healthy arrival – I promise I do not take it for granted – not even a little bit. What a joy to be a grandmother, and quite a special honor. #choosejoy #gratitude #3things
Today’s 3 things; I am grateful for the early Christmas gifts I got from my colleagues today – a nice surprise; I am grateful that the kids are home from school; I heard a great analogy from my God Mother yesterday…she said ICU only lets healthy people in the room. She was referring to my life and my desire to help someone when it’s not a healthy choice or my responsibility to do so. I am healing and need to take care of of myself first. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude #hardchoices
Last night I was distracted from my posting of 3 things but what’s funny is I was racking up the gratitude all day. Not that it was a particularly great day from an outside viewpoint, but I was able to really focus on the good things and not the little annoyances (both people and events) that permeated the day. I am grateful for the massage therapist that brings me relief from my physical pain; I am grateful on any day I get to speak with all 3 of my children and know they are doing well; but on this early morning post I am most most most grateful that I know that my light is very, very bright and that it’s just not for everyone…and that’s okay. I will shine on, my friends, I WILL SHINE ON! I will never allow another soul to ever dim it again. Ever. Seriously- it’s quite bright. Have a wonderful weekend – get some fresh air! #choosejoy #gratitude #3things
Today started like any other day – coffee and a hot shower (neither of which I take for granted). The difference is, however, that I am at the beach with my children – my grown children. I am grateful to have special time with them as they create their own lives; I am grateful for the delicious food we’ve had today; I am grateful for the giggling granddaughter that runs like the energizer bunny. Still, the difference in the day is a little sad – as I try to fill all of my days with joy and gratitude on this day I feel the loss for some reason – on this day of thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I feel the joy too. But when I look into the faces of these young adults I can’t help but see the small children they once were. It’s not really sadness…nostalgia maybe?? I don’t know who said these words first but I have said them often. The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy every moment that you can. Every. Day. Thank you for taking this journey of gratitude with me over the years. I appreciate having the audience! #choosejoy #gratitude #3things #emptynest
Today I am grateful for the time spent baking holiday goodies for my family and friends; today I am grateful to HAVE the family and friends; today I am grateful for my mother’s hands and on my hand, my grandmother’s wedding band…I wear the matching band that belonged to my grandfather around my neck and I feel honored to have them both with me always. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude
Today I am grateful for taco Tuesday’s on Sunday; I am grateful that baby bird felt better enough to go back to her dorm (or am I?) yea I miss her; I am grateful for the two day week ahead of me…and then the beach. #gratitude #3things #choosejoy