February 10, 2022 3 things…

“February has an r after the b!?” Man I love teaching Juniors. They never cease to amaze me. For this I am grateful; I had a meeting of the minds tonight with some amazing folks – so grateful for the experience, strength, and hope of others; I am eternally grateful that my mother taught me that no matter how terrible another human being may seem to be to just kill’em with kindness. I remembered this today. And I did just that – a great big smile, and a great big wave out the open car window. I mean it was a beautiful day. The whole thing was quite perfect, almost like a movie. He waved back and then realized it was me…then pretended he wasn’t waving but fixing his visor. Oh the drama.

It really made me happy, made me feel strong and healthy and good. Thanks Big A.

#choosejoy #3things #gratitude

January 2, 2022 Daily 3 things…

Today I am grateful for my mother – she loved like no other. Oh how I wish she could have met my children and now, my grandchildren; I am grateful for comedians. I love to laugh and they can always make me feel better; I am grateful for this break we have had and I’m ready for tomorrow. #3things #choosejoy #gratitude

December 21, 2021 and my 3 things of gratitude

Wow – What. A. Day. I can say I felt the spectrum of all of the feels today. From the early morning email informing me of the tragic loss of another student, a senior – to the rage filled trauma trigger…I am at peace only when I focus on the joy of the day. And oh what joy. 1) today I met Charlotte. She is 5 days old and my 2nd granddaughter. It’s just magical – life is such a mystery. 2) I crawled around on the floor with grand number 1 and we giggled until we were both absolutely exhausted. 3) I shared meaningful conversation and a good laugh with all 3 of my grown children today and they are in 3 different cities at the moment, so that’s quite a win. 4) yea – 4) I went to dinner with my daughter and granddaughters. Not only was it yummy, but relaxing and giggly, too. 5) what? Stop the insanity, yes, I said 5) I am grateful that I arrived safely to my holiday destination and look forward to my flock coming together for Christmas. So, the loss, the anger, the hurt, the frustration, the crowds, the traffic, the cold rain…just, no. Focus on the good stuff. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude #grannyB

1 thing x3 – Daily Gratitude

My 2nd granddaughter has arrived! She is just as magnificent as the first, of course. I am so grateful for her safe and healthy arrival – I promise I do not take it for granted – not even a little bit. What a joy to be a grandmother, and quite a special honor. #choosejoy #gratitude #3things

December 13, 2021 Daily Gratitude

Today’s 3 things; I am grateful for the early Christmas gifts I got from my colleagues today – a nice surprise; I am grateful that the kids are home from school; I heard a great analogy from my God Mother yesterday…she said ICU only lets healthy people in the room. She was referring to my life and my desire to help someone when it’s not a healthy choice or my responsibility to do so. I am healing and need to take care of of myself first. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude #hardchoices

Early morning 3 things – December 4, 2021

Last night I was distracted from my posting of 3 things but what’s funny is I was racking up the gratitude all day. Not that it was a particularly great day from an outside viewpoint, but I was able to really focus on the good things and not the little annoyances (both people and events) that permeated the day. I am grateful for the massage therapist that brings me relief from my physical pain; I am grateful on any day I get to speak with all 3 of my children and know they are doing well; but on this early morning post I am most most most grateful that I know that my light is very, very bright and that it’s just not for everyone…and that’s okay. I will shine on, my friends, I WILL SHINE ON! I will never allow another soul to ever dim it again. Ever. Seriously- it’s quite bright. Have a wonderful weekend – get some fresh air! #choosejoy #gratitude #3things

Thanksgiving 2021 – 3 things of gratitude

Today started like any other day – coffee and a hot shower (neither of which I take for granted). The difference is, however, that I am at the beach with my children – my grown children. I am grateful to have special time with them as they create their own lives; I am grateful for the delicious food we’ve had today; I am grateful for the giggling granddaughter that runs like the energizer bunny. Still, the difference in the day is a little sad – as I try to fill all of my days with joy and gratitude on this day I feel the loss for some reason – on this day of thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I feel the joy too. But when I look into the faces of these young adults I can’t help but see the small children they once were. It’s not really sadness…nostalgia maybe?? I don’t know who said these words first but I have said them often. The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy every moment that you can. Every. Day. Thank you for taking this journey of gratitude with me over the years. I appreciate having the audience! #choosejoy #gratitude #3things #emptynest

November 23, 2021 – 3 things

Today I am grateful for the time spent baking holiday goodies for my family and friends; today I am grateful to HAVE the family and friends; today I am grateful for my mother’s hands and on my hand, my grandmother’s wedding band…I wear the matching band that belonged to my grandfather around my neck and I feel honored to have them both with me always. #choosejoy #3things #gratitude

a mom, a Facebook post, and God’s plan

Dear Mom,

Your granddaughter posted a photo on social media today.  It was a picture from last year of her towering over me as I stood in my cap and gown, freshly graduated with a masters degree.  You wouldn’t believe how tall that little baby we brought home grew to be.  She was only one when you passed, she is 24 now.  Anyway – above the photo were three simple statements:13139005_10154244131620984_245617374226447421_n

Make your own luck.
Finish what you start.
Kill them with kindness.

You see, today is mother’s day.  She posted this as a tribute to me and “just a  few” lessons I taught her.  I was confused when I first saw them.  I did not really understand my reaction.  I thought it was because it did not have the “happy mother’s day” stamp on it.  But then I realized what was really going on inside my head and my heart and I suddenly saw you in the photo, standing between us, embracing us.  Beaming at my accomplishment – raising such a wonderful young woman.  I quickly moved from the post so as not to succumb to the pain of loss on this day of celebrating motherhood.

So, then I spent the day at the pool with my other daughter, Rachel.  You never got to meet her.  She is funny – she has our wit (and modesty).  She makes me laugh and gives the greatest hugs.  She said to me…out of the blue…you never really talk about your mom.  Such an innocent observation by such a bright young lady.  I felt ashamed at first – like I had dropped the ball.   My eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with love – embarrassed, overwhelmed, and frustrated.  I mean, I think about you every day.  I talk to you all the time.  You are a daily presence.  I felt like I was letting you down, like you had been dishonored by this statement.  I felt like I was letting down my children by holding on to my memories and keeping them to myself as I still struggle with your loss after all of these years.

Then, I thought of Yaya’s post.  Oh yea – Yaya is the nickname that Michael gave to Alexis when he was 2 because he could not say her name.  It was adorable. You never got to meet him, either.  He reminds me so much of Boo Boo, handsome, bright, and hugely tender-hearted.  Anyway – as I thought of that post again I realized that they do all know you – even if they don’t know that they know you.

They know you because they know me.  They know you because I teach them the very lessons that you taught me about living your life with purpose, working hard, and giving everything of yourself.

Make your own luck – you taught me to go for the things that I want in life and not to just sit around and wait for things to happen.  Be proactive – not reactive.  Thank you.

Finish what you start – you taught me integrity and faithfulness.  Determination and commitment.  You taught me to never give up.  Thank you.

Kill them with kindness – wow – this one hit the hardest today.  No matter how much someone hurts you, no matter how much you do not understand them – Kill them with your kindness.  Someone needs to.  Chances are, no one ever has.  How you balanced this lesson with also teaching me not to be a doormat is really something that someone needs to put in a manual, or something.  Mom, I am as kind to people as I know how to be – I promise.

I miss you. You always made me believe in God’s plan – to have faith that you were never given more than you can handle.  I remember – sometimes you would look to the heavens and say “you gave me a mountain this time, Lord” when things were really hard.  Well, Mom, It feels like that mountain range is now between us.

My heart is heavy on this Mother’s Day.  I promise to persevere because that is who you taught me to be.  I promise to love my children because that is what you taught me to do.  I will continue to teach them about their grandmother.  And I promise to keep the faith that we will be together again one day.  This is God’s plan.

I love you.  Happy Mother’s Day.

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